SIVA4KIDS



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TRUE STORY ABOUT THE FORGOTTEN CHILDREN
By Sutha Thiruchelvam

For almost six months I did volunteer work at the children's home of Senthalir Siruvar Illam, Mullaithevu , Sri Lanka – an area that was affected by the 30 year old civil war between Tamils and the Singhalese. The tsunami required the lives of more than half of the children, and the whole world was able to follow intensively via media. While the children were the victims of the tsunami tides, the rest of the world were victims of the world wide media. How much did we really hear about the world's biggest disaster in present time? These children had already gone through the war created by humans. In addition to this they were unfortunate to meet a much more devilish destruction – the tsunami tides. We could all see how they died one by one, thousands by thousands, day by day. But how many of us knew how these children lived?

My journey to Sri Lanka was for me a duty which I had to carry out. With my Tamil culture and Danish background I was looking forward to serve my motherland, Sri Lanka , which I had dreamed so long about.

Thanks to my parents teaching me Tamil, I was able to communicate with the children in their own language. This was one of the important tools to open up the deepest darkness and sorrows of the children of the war-ravaged Mullaittivu.

Before my journey I took the time in Denmark to collect toys, clothes, school supplies such as pencils, color-pencils, books, etc. . It was such a big collection that I had to apply for special permission to take 15kg extra baggage. I was then ready to fulfill my longest awaited journey.

The children's home had 115 curious and energetic children, aged between 9 months and 17 years. From the very first day I felt like one of them. They were so happy and playful now that they had another member of the children's home. I was happy to be a part of this during my time there.

I worked during the afternoons and evenings, after the children had finished school. The burning sun around mid-day took most of my energy. My working hours had this disadvantage that there were no light at noon, because there was only one little petroleum lamp.

There was only one little classroom with a few tables, benches, and a board. It was around this place most things happened. Some children would run around playing, while the others were playing ball. A few of the small children were studying for exams. The conditions were so bad that I could not imagine that these children had any opportunity to do their homework. Not until around eleven at night they could get the peace to study further with the help of the petroleum lamp.

I had brought some English books, computer books and education books for children. I also brought my computer . It was such a surprise for them to see a computer, as they were used to only see on in books. One of the boys came up to me and showed me a picture of a computer, and told me and pointed at my computer. I could see the pride shining in his eyes because he had drawn his first computer ever.

It was difficult to satisfy all the 30 children and teach them because the electricity was so reduced, and it was only available from 18.00 till 21.00. It was also difficult to have all the 30 children within one small office.

The children came around different times from school. The youngest got off early, and the older children later. This gave me a certain routine, and I could divide them into different groups as they came home. Often they all sat together as they came from school, since their level was almost the same among the children.

The children were much exited about learning English, but their introvert ness and lack of confidence created obstacles for them to develop the language further. The first hours with the kids in the class were really special to me. The children were sitting on the floor, and they were so quiet, looking down while I got a chair to sit on. Every time I asked them something, they were quick to stand before they could answer, and then they would sit again in their place. This was something I was not used to from Denmark . I told them that in Denmark there is no difference between teacher and students as it is in Sri Lanka . I also told them that it is all right to address the teacher by their first name. The next day I found out that some of the staff had gotten really angry with one of the children because he had called me by my first name. This was very disrespectful according to the staff at the children's home!

During the weekends I gave lessons for the children in dance, theatre and children's games. I noticed that there was a lack of materials, and I could only use those toys and equipment I had brought from Denmark . Often was it just enough to give them some care and attention. To see their faces full of energy and motivation and to learn new things was already a gift for me, and motivated me to go on doing my tasks in the children house.

My favorites were the smallest angels. In the mornings I helped the smallest children to get washed, brush their teeth, get dressed and make breakfasts. Thereafter I did some activities with them. Many of the small ones had some form of skin infection, but there was only one doctor to examine all the children, and she would come only once a month to have a look at the children. The medicine which the doctor gave was not very efficient since the infection would be back again after only a short while.

When the employees were able to set aside some time, I would do workshops with them. I was determined to change their way of nurturing the children. I was not very successful in doing this. It was a strange feeling to watch when employees got so irritated, and sometimes punished the children when they made noises or were being disobedient. The children weren't encouraged when they did something they were proud of, and the way they were being brought up was not so child-friendly from a western point of view. These reactions in their jobs and tasks were however results from their own rough experiences in life. Most of the women who worked there had lost their husbands, children, and property during the war. They were living and working in the children's house and never got the right professional help which they all needed. They felt so powerless and disparaged. There were 115 children and only 8 employees. Two of the employees took care of the kitchen, one took care of and nurtured the small ones, one performed administrative duties, and the others took care of the rest of the chores.

The older children helped out in the kitchen, cleaning the house, watering the flowers etc. The tasks were switched among them in a logical way which was still admirable to think of for such a small age.

My only wish was to come close to the children and give them the care and attention they were longing for. It was so difficult to believe that these children went through the worst and darkest experiences, and were still so smiling, energetic and ambitious in their motivations. When the night fell I could hear the same children were crying and screaming though, after having nightmares. Most of the time I heard them screaming for their mothers or sitting in a corner all alone and stirring out in the open.

I felt so powerless when I saw these things again and again. One of the girls was saving some money so she could find her parents. I was told that she was kidnapped to do child labor by some strangers when she was 6 years old. After five years in hell she succeeded to get away and then ended up here at the children's house. Another girl told me that she had a child of one year old when she was only 15 years old. I asked her more about the story behind this incident but she was not able to remember anything. One of the workers later told me that she was raped and were walking in the streets, completely traumatized.

The youngest child was 9 months old had symptoms of being under-developed. It was hard for me to see this child having cramp attacks when it was so young, but the financial means of the children's house would not allow for the right treatment for this child.

My journey to Sri Lanka was extremely educational, culturally as well as personally. This journey gave me the close-up observation of one of the dark sides of the civil war. It also showed the sad and poor conditions of the children's house because of the war. This experience pushed me to my limits. It gave me another perspective on life itself. Which values do I have to fight for as a woman in this world? What else is out there outside my well-protected home in Denmark ? These children are not only trying to survive the war and natural disaster, but it's about life quality and the right to have a good life or future.

Therefore I am happy to tell my true story to S4K and hope that this new young organization can achieve something for the thousands of other tsunami children in Sri Lanka . Thank you Siva for Kids Foundation.